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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Food addiction is SOOO real!!!!!

Not for everyone, but for those that are full blown addicts like me, we have to realize that we will NEVER get to that place to ever really be "free" from addiction. So many food addicts replace their food addictions after surgery with other things, or if you have not had surgery you lose weight but still obsess over EVERY meal and plan it out ALL DAY LONG in your mind. When I used to look at "skinny" girls I would think, I can't wait to look like that and feel great! I would imagine that all my food issues would be gone once I hit my goal weight. "Once I hit my goal weight I will do x,y & z" etc... I was laughing at myself last night because you know you are still a full-blown food addict when you look forward to eating your chewable milti vitamin because the taste resembles candy. :) I have no idea what state I would be in today if I had not had my surgery to help me "manage" my addiction, but it's so important that I spread the message that surgery, dieting, a new "weight loss program" will NEVER "cure" you of a food addiction. Just like other addictions, you can live in recovery, but you have to face the addiction most everyday and be willing to say "no" to your former best friend each time it wants to "get back together." Don't get me wrong, there are days where I feel free, there are days where I regret my surgery because it keeps me away from my besting friend Binging. BUT, most days are filled with appreciation for LIFE. No matter what plan you use to try and get healthy, the goal is LIFE. Not a certain weight on the scale, not a clothing size, but the ability to live life to it's fullest and most sincere. I hope with the new year we all don't bogg ourselves down with resolutions that only highlight our failures days or months later, but we commit any day of the year to try to live our lives to the best of our abilities. I still need to learn this. I still need to work on this in more ways than just managing my addiction. I need to re-learn how I see myself. I need to stop calling myself ugly when my face breaks out or when I catch a look at my hanging skin in the mirror. I need to tell myself that my hair isn't straw and that everyone at church looks better than me. I need to stop looking around a room to see if I'm the fattest one EVERYWHERE I go. Too late to make a long story short, but I chose right now to make a good choice. I am going to get off the computer and be productive. :)
For your viewing pleasure, here is our Christmas tree this year... :)


PenPen said...

Well said! And ha-ha about the vitamins....I know what you mean. I love my grape flavored iron + C chewable and my lemon flavored calcium chews. lol I save my 2nd dose of the calcium chews for right before bed. You've given me the giggles! :)

p.s. Your tree is beautiful! Penny

Christine said...

ahh viactiv multi vitamins..I get that one and the calcium and it is my 'chocolate fix'. I get you lisa. I do. Glad you are getting healthier!

Diminishing Lucy said...

So true.

I am maintaining my weight (not lost any for a while) and whilst hypnotherapy and constant practice over three years of eating mindfully (ie not binging at all) I still have days when I think "oh hell just let me dive into a huge sack of Cheetos and give me a hit."

I don't do it. But the addict in me still calls for it some times...

Well done Lisa. I have said it before, but your self awareness will see you through.


Lori said...

I look forward to my fruit flavored fiber chews!

Anonymous said...

Very pretty tree - and I must be a chocoholic because I look forward to my chocolate calciums! :)