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Sunday, November 27, 2011


I had the most amazing Thanksgiving holiday. My high school friends came from out of state to stay with us and left this morning. We hosted Thanksgiving again this year with tons of friends, I took a ride on the Polar Express yesterday with our friends and my family, I have gone to see downtown Christmas lights, cooked my butt off, all without ANY limitations. We have our newest little addition... I am sooooooooooooooo grateful for my surgery. It's because I prayed and got my answer to move forward with it that I am able to experience the type of holiday I always used to say I would have "next year." No more next year! No more..." by this time next year I will be such and such pounds and be able to do this..." SCREW THAT! The time is now! Today's the day! The moment is NOW! :) Wow. I am happy. Still fat in the eyes of most, but so damn happy.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Update from my dr. appt

Well, it turns out I am indeed the 1% of people who has scar tissue expand. Whatever. I am still VERY happy with getting this surgery and will do a revision if I have too. I am on kind of a pre-op diet again to see if the mass will shrink or if it does not which will tell the dr. the options for revision. I am STILL at 236. I swear my body is working against me at all costs to keep from going down from that number. :) The baby is so perfect and such a joy. All of our kids are adjusting so well to her and having her during this holiday season makes it so much more fun. :) We are having my fiends from out of state join us for Thanksgiving and they will stay a few days. I love hosting guests especially when my body allows me to participate in the fun. We just bought tickets to the Polar Express. I am not worried about the food. I will make the Thanksgiving feast just as I have EVERY year, only this year I will not be rolling around on a chair. :) I hope everyone has a GREAT Thanksgiving!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

I've been busy with... :)

(the photographer came to our house to do the newborn pics. She is taking a shot from above in this pic. :)
This perfect blessing... :) Live is amazing and YES! I owe it to my surgery! I was holding the baby the other day, bouncing her in my arms while STANDING. like a normal mother would. It hit me all of a sudden.. I am standing and holding my baby! Soooo normal for most people but something that brought me to tears. I feel like I am over the weight loss phase of my life. I know 237 is still massively fat for most people, but coming from 360 it feels pretty good. At this point I focus on health. Weight loss is a bonus... lol My appointment with my surgeon is this Wednesday and I will find out if he recommends a revision. If I need it, I won't be able to get it done until the summer. If he recommends the bypass I will NOT do it. I know many have had success with that but the malabsorbtion issues would be too dangerous for me considering my need to take blood thinners from my strokes etc. Again, my first surgery was to save my life. I don't agree with surgery in order to just look better. I will rely on the gym and physical therapy to help with that. :) Anyway, I am a happy girl right now. I am sooo blessed with my family and some good close friends. I am happy to be rid of "friends" who are only around when they want something from you. I feel free from so much baggage by cutting back on the negative influences in my life. It is so much easier to see the blessings you have without all the darkness effecting your vision. :) I feel about fat the same way. I am STILL AND ALWAYS WILL BE AN ADDICT. I still think of food. I imagine the type of binges I could have if I had not had my surgery. I STILL fight regret when faced with the truth that binging is not a way I can cope even if I wanted too. It is so weird for your mind to still want something it knows you are not capable of giving it anymore. That part never turns off and for those who think surgery will kill it 100%, PLEASE know that is NOT true. BUT... it does keep you from giving in because you have no choice. Anyway, I feel that the layers of fat were barriers from real happiness. It's so hard to see through them to the world outside. Sorry, I am all over the place today but I will try to update after my appt. as far as the results. If I am some kind of freak show who has had her stomach grow back, I will not be surprised. :)

Monday, November 7, 2011

Weight Loss Picture update

This pic was taken on Friday night. My hubby and I went out on a date the night before we brought the new baby home. During the date we walked around the mall holding hands, watched ice skaters and went out to dinner. I felt like I was walking on air because I had not done this with him in about 8 years because of my weight/back. (p.s., the pants are a size 18!) :)So, I am now a sexy beast because I fit in to my black boots which I have not worn for YEARS! (My ankles got to fat so they would not close.)
This is me in our hospital room (the hospital gave us our own room, isn't that cool?) right before we went to the nursery to pick up the baby and bring her home. What a miracle that was made possible by my surgery in so many ways. #1, I could not walk more than a few feet before surgery #2, I could not have picked up a new baby #3, I am happier than I have EVER been which makes sleepless night much more bearable. :) Sorry, I know I look a mess in this pic but I had already cried off all my make-up. lol Thanks for all the congrats! I appreciate it so much! I am STILL at 237 which means I have been in a stall for almost 2 months. BUT... my body is still changing and I can do more and more each day so I'm all good!

Friday, November 4, 2011

My BIG news is...

Meet Baby Girl "C" :)

Born today weighing in at 8 pounds 3 ounces, 19 inches long

The birth mother is a friend of our family and she is nothing less than an angel.

I was allowed to be in the room and cut the cord!

One of the most beautiful experiences ever. We've known since the birth mom was about 7 weeks along. We found out about 2 weeks before my surgery. I knew in that moment that I HAD to do this in order to be able to not only be the mom my other 4 kids deserve, but to be the mom this new little one would need. Today was perfect. I just got home about an hour ago. I am in-love. :)

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

BIG hint for my special announcement!!! :)

Big news tomorrow... :)

Got the upper GI today...

I have a ball on top of my sleeve. Nice. I have an appointment next week to talk about where we go from here. :(