Worry is setting in. Sickness. An overwhelming anxiety. :( I will never be able to eat like a normal person again. Some of the same reasons I chose this surgery are some of the same reasons why I am so sad. With no stomach pouch, your chance of gaining all the weight back are slim. With that said, the ability to eat a normal sized meal is also gone. I admit I am mourning food. My good friend. The same friend who wishes to kill me. I will always be that person at the table who is finished after two bites. Always "the girl who had that surgery." I pray that the thing I am using to extend my life is not the thing that kills me. I want to be here for my kids and husband. I want to know life in a way I never have before. Please pray for me.
Please e-mail me your blog info and contact e-mail (firstname.lastname@example.org)if you want an invite to this site. I am making it private. Sadly, I have to look in to each person VERY carefully in order to protect my privacy and if I feel I do not "know" you well enough, I will not be able to extend an invitation. :(
I appreciate the support you all have given me. I know some say that by closing up shop for a while I have let him win. So be it. I am not here to battle or fight for anything other than my life. I don't want to win. All I have ever wanted by blogging was to show others out there about the sickness of my food addiction. Honest, open and real. I have never talked about other bloggers or posted about anyone but myself. I intend to keep it this way and have let the bullying and harassment get to my heart. Now, I want to re-focus on this weight loss battle and continue to support others doing the same. I have bigger fish to fry and the most pressing is a very real battle for my life. My mom is flying out tomorrow to help and by this time on Wed, I will be under the knife. God help me.