Some weird things... (and some party pics!:)

TMI alert!  So I had my "period" for SIXTEEN days this month.  My PCOS is RAGING right now and it sucks.  2nd weird thing... Lately I've been feeling some restriction??!!  Haven't felt ANY since 5 months out of surgery and now I catch myself getting full VERY fast.  I'm not complaining about that, but the down side is I am hungry again in about 30 minutes to an hour.  Yes, I eat protein.  Third weird thing... my hair is falling out... FAST. Especially on top.  I had some hair loss about one month out of surgery which was way over a year ago but it was short lived.  Can't understand why I am getting it again. 

I have appointments next month with an endocrinologist, orthopedic surgeon and a hemotologist.  I might as well take advantage of this time trying to dig deeper than just weight loss when it comes to my health. 

Here are some pics from my oldest daugher's 13th birthday... :)

 Below: the kids all waiting for my daughter in the arcade... 

  Below: the cake and treat bag table... the cake was amazing!  My friend did such a great job and it was soooo cute for a 13 year old.  Real "Cake Boss" type stuff. :)

 Below: the little specs on the tables are fake jewels in her birthday colors. 

There are also candles on the table.

 Below: the bowling lanes...

Total: 37 kids! :)

So busy, no time to think

I teach preschool, watch a daycare child, I have 4 out of 5 kids in activities. (dance, football, scouts, air force academy, church groups, flute lessons, yearbook, swim school...)  I am also a room mom, football team manager, church music conductor, mom and wife.  Every day, all day I am on the move.  Last night I was up late making the treat bags for my daughter's 13th birthday.  We are having a "team dream" party for her at the bowling alley with 30 friends.  Pizza, drinks, bowling, laser tag and arcade games.  Not to mention a custom cake, table decorations, new outfit, treat bags, fake rhinestones to cover the table, a professional photographer and set up.  Here's the thing... I am tired.  REALLY tired.  I won't lie.  But yesterday I had a moment where I broke down and cried and not from being overwhelmed.  It was because I was soooo grateful to be able to do these things.  I wasn't directing others from a chair.  I am doing all these things on my own.  100% me.  When I am teaching preschool, I have so much fun with the kids.  They are so happy to be there and have no idea what things used to be like for me.  I was walking to different stores with my older daughter last night to find just the right bday outfit :) when I realized that was a moment less than 2 years ago I could not have had.  I can't say I still don't think about my weight every day.  I need the revision but it will have to wait until the loan is paid off from the house flood.  In the mean time, I am LIVING.  I still wonder why food addiction has such a grip on me.  I know I would eat much more if I was able and whether or not my surgery worked to it's full extent or not, at least it preforms the duties it needs to in order to save me from me.  I am not logging my calories these days but I need too... when I have time. :)

Pic of the day... the treat bags... :)

Moving on...

Ok, I think I have made a decision to stop feeling sorry for myself... I am going to try 1200 calories per day for 30 days and see if I can make it. If for no other reason, to prove to myself that I can have control. I know I have to be under 800 calories for weight loss, but not gaining is good at this point too. There's no point in going back to where I was because of this set back. I have too much going for me to go back to that place. I need prayers. :)

Dee's Tips and Trivia

Questions –

~ Who are the 4 people on Mt. Rushmore?

Jefferson, Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt

~ Who is Patricia Andrzejewski?

Pat Benatar

~ The expression “Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate” first appeared in the 1960’s, and applied to what?

IBM punched cards for computer programs

Tips –

~ Clean your headlights with toothpaste.  Apply with a dry cloth in a circular motion until all the grime comes off.  Rinse with water and wipe down.

~ Homemade dishwasher soap-Now I don’t have a dishwasher, but I’ve been told this works well.  Put 1 tsp oxygen bleach and ½ tsp Dawn dish soap in the dispenser.  Then ½ cup white vinegar in a bowl or cup on the TOP rack of the machine. 

~ Use a potato peeler to get even, small slices of veggies for salads.

Trivia –

~ Polar bears can smell a seal from 20 miles away.

~ An average of 3 billion cups of tea are consumed daily around the world.

~ The side of a hammer is called a cheek.

This date in history (August 31^st)

~ 1887 – The kinetoscope was patented by Thomas Edison.  The device was used to produce moving pictures.

~ 1920 – The first news program to be broadcast on radio was aired.

~ 1940 – Lawrence Olivier and Vivian Leigh were married.

~ 1949 – Richard Gere was born.  J

~ 1987 – Michael Jackson’s “Bad” video aired for the first time.

Questions –

~ There are two US states each of which borders 8 other states.  What are their names?

~ Can you give a common last name for four famous brothers whose first names were Joe, John, Bob and Eddie?

~ Joe drank 1/3 of a glass of milk in one swallow, then drank 4/5 of the remaining milk in another swallow.  What fraction of the original milk was left?

Questions I can’t answer-

~ Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

~ If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

~ Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Quote –

“The whole of life is but a moment of time.  It is our duty, therefore to use it, not misuse it.”  Plutarch

Here we are at the last holiday of the summer.  Go out and make it one safe and spectacular weekend!

Dee

Home

Just moved back in last night after being in a hotel for a month while our house was repaired.  So much to do, so much to think about.  I don't know where to go from here.

Feeling Beat down...

My birthday is in 3 days.  I will be 35 and I this time last year I had soooo many dreams about whatI would do to celebrate turning 35.  #1., I thought I would be at goal weight.  I thought my surgery would be like every one else and I would not have complications.  I thought I would be low enough in weight to zip line.  I did not imagine I would be living in a hotel with five kids and a husband because my house flooded.  I had a goal to go tubing on the lake.  Last year although I went on the boat which at the time was a major accomplishment, I could not tube because I was still too fat.  This summer I was going to go back and tube.  I have not been to the lake, I can't face another failure.  My surgery gave me a much better quality of life, but then caused a lifetime of dieting in order to say under 1200 calories per day in order to not GAIN weight.  There is NO WAY that without my sleeve getting fixed I can stay between 600-800 calories per day in order to LOSE.  I will now be fighting to stay fat forever since my surgery money has to go towards my house ins. deductible.  I am feeling so bogged down right now.  I can't imagine accepting this body for the rest of my life.  I need to let go of my dreams but don't know how.  What keeps m going is looking at my kids and husband an trying to feel grateful for what I have.  And I am.  I'm still grateful for every step.  I am grateful for the ability to be a better mom and wife.  But... It's hard to let go of a dream.  It's hard to let go of something you have imagined your entire life.  My first memory of trying to lose weight was at 5 years old.  I was told by my mom that I was getting to chubby for a bathing suit.  By 7 she told me I need make-up so at least my face would be pretty until I could lose weight.  At 9 she told me if I could not lose 20 pounds by the end of summer I would not get new school clothes.  School started in a month.  I didn't lose and I didn't get new clothes for a couple of years.  I had been dreaming of fitting in, looking like everyone else, being "pretty" since I was old enough to have memories and now I am just supposed to let go.  Now my fight becomes starving just so I can not gain weight.  I am bitter about this change of focus.  I am mad at myself because I chose this.  I am mad because the surgery that saved my life is also the one that changed my body forever.  Most sleeve or WLS patients I know have to eat under 1200 to maintain.  It's normal in the WLS world.  BUT, that is to MAINTAIN.  NOt to lose.   To lose the weight they needed to eat far less.  I know my sleeve can get fixed to provide the restriction I need to help be reach my goals, but now it's years away since I can no longer afford the loan due to my house.  This means at least two years of fighting, starving and being cranky just to maintain.  Yes, I guess I am feeling sorry for myself.  I am still the fat girl at church,in my neighborhood, my kids school, in my own home.  Fatty never left me.  She was just sitting around waiting for an opportunity to tell me I was stuck with her forever and rub it in my face.  Looks like she got her way.  That's what I get for thinking it could turn out a different way.  I'm sure my blog stalkers will enjoy this post.  You were right.  I have failed AGAIN.  I hope that brings you the joy you so desperately want at my expense.  You were right. 

Surgery canceled AGAIN!!!!!

This time it's because our 13 year old daughter flooded our house by stopping up her sink and leaving it running all day.  This is getting to be ridiculous.  We are living in a hotel for at least 10-14 days while the house is repaired.  I have to use my surgery money to pay our huge deductible.  I am overwhelmed. 

New surgery date

August 7th.  That's three days before my birthday.  Back to the 600 calories per day liquid diet for me. :(  The good news is that the hemotologist said I am ok to move forward with surgery.  She will do a FULL blood work-up on me the day before surgery to make sure everything is ok.

NO SURGERY TUESDAY

I am having some bruising all over my body over the past 11 days or so since I went off my blood thinner to prepare for surgery.  I need to see a hematologist to find out what's going on before I go under again.  I am bummed.  :(  I intend to try to eat around 1000 calories per day in order to maintain my weight until I can reschedule surgery.

Feeling much better~!

I've heard that the first week of the liquid diet is always the hardest.  I would have to agree.  I am feeling much better and have gone THREE days without a migraine.  :)  Today I had a great family day.  We went to the Library, Costco, and our local downtown area.  I was able to walk around and keep up with everyone just fine.  Trust me when I say there isn't a minute of my life I am not thanking God for the change in my quality of life.  It was surreal to be able to walk around the library for OVER AN HOUR and look at so many book choices.  Before my surgery I had not been to a library since high school.  (almost 20 years ago) My husband used to have to take the kids without me.  Costco was just as fun. :)  I know most people there are walking around totally unaware of the blessing of just being able to walk.  A trip to the store is something to be celebrated.  It's been over a year and I am still not tired of these everyday things. 

* 3 days til' my revision surgery *

Below: a pic I took today while we were driving to our downtown area...

Dee's Tips and Trivia

Questions –

~ Cameron Crowe wrote (in my opinion) the best Sean Penn movie EVER.  What was it?

Fast Times at Ridgemont High

~ How much food and drink (in weight) does an average person ingest in one year?

One ton

~ Who is Peter Gene Hernandez?

Bruno Mars

Tips –

~ Clean your counters and table tops with hydrogen peroxide to kill germs and leave a fresh smell.  Put on your dishrag when you wipe,  or spray the counters.

~ Moving? Pack your plates with foam disposable plates between them.

~ Use scotch tape or nail polish to relieve an insect bite.  Blocking the oxygen from getting into the bite will stop the itching.

Trivia –

~ On average a man spends 5 months of his life shaving.

~ The only insect that can turn its head is the praying mantis.

~ The average human dream only lasts 2 to 3 seconds.

This date in history (July 20^th)

~ 1881 – Sitting Bull, a fugitive since the Battle of the Little Big Horn, surrenders.

~ 1908 – In the US, the Sullivan Ordinance bars women from smoking in public facilities.

~ 1963 – Surf City hit #1.

~ 1969 – Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin became the 1^st men to walk on the moon.

~ 1975 – Steven Van Zandt performed for the 1^st time with the E Street Band.

Questions –

~ Who sang Surf City?

~ Who is Joseph Levitch?

~ What is the last bone to fuse in the human body?

Quote –

“The difference between can and cannot in only three letters.  Three letters that can shape your life’s direction.”  Remez Sasson

I hope all of you have one heck of a weekend!

Dee

Think before you print -Go Green

I went here yesterday...

Yes, I conquered yet ANOTHER water slide! :)  I flew down that thing at about 100 mph... lol  We took the kids to an indoor swim center and had a great time.  I was able to keep up with the kids and I had lots of fun. :)  A lot of people ask me why I am doing this now that I can do SO MUCH MORE than before my 1st VSG.  It's because I still can't really sleep in a bed.  My back and hips hurt sooo much it's impossible to to lay down for more than a minute.  Sleeping in a chair has now caused extreme neck problems.  I have to go to physical therapy for all three things several times per week.  I am ready to live with less pain.  The more weight I have off my joints, the better it will be.

Pre-op work-up today

I have to drive about 45 minutes to the new hospital.  I can't get the surgery done at the original hospital (because it's to expensive) which makes me a little scared because it is a center for excellence, but it's the same dr at the new hospital.  I am on day 5 of an almost unbearable headache.  The kind that pounds in your head, your teeth, your neck... I am starving.  * 9 days til' surgery.  I am questioning this move every minute of every day.  Hanging in there second by second.  The regular pre-op diet I did last time allows for 1200 calories per day so I got to have more shakes.  BUT... After already having the sleeve, eating/drinking 1200 calories per day is too much calories for weight loss.

On a happier note... I french braided my 3 year old's hair yesterday for church.  She told me she was a church princess. :)

Every minute is torture...

Every minute I am talking myself out of giving up.  The liquid diet is sooooo hard.  My head hurts, my body aches... I have to make sure I am not getting over 600 calories per day if I want to lose enough weight to shrink my liver before surgery.  600 calories per day is about two protein drinks and a chicken breast ALL DAY.  Not my idea of fun. :(  Sorry, these posts will be whiny for a while.

Dee's Tips and Trivia

Last Week’s Questions –

~ What is pomology?

The study of fruit

~ What show was Burt Ward in and what was his character’s name?

Batman and he was Robin

~ Who is Farouk Bulsara?

Freddy Mercury

Tips

~ Grill your fish on a bed of lemons to infuse flavor and prevent sticking to the grill.

~ Use boiling water instead of tap water to make clear ice.

~ Use a muffin tin as a condiment dish.  Now, that’s a creative idea.

Trivia –

~ Louisiana is home to 80% of the world’s crayfish.

~ A duck has 3 eyelids.

~ Shakespeare invented the words “assassination” and “bump”.

This date in history (July 13^th)

~ 1865 – Horace Greeley advises his readers to “Go west, young man”.

~ 1942 – Harrison Ford was born.  Yikes, Han Solo is 70 years old.

~ 1957 – Cameron Crowe was born.

~ 1960 – John Kennedy was nominated for President.

~ 1974 – Eric Clapton released “I Shot the Sheriff”.

~ 1985 – Live Aid concert performed in London and Philadelphia.

~ 1990 – Ghost opens

Questions –

~ Cameron Crowe wrote (in my opinion) the best Sean Penn movie EVER.  What was it?

~ How much food and drink (in weight) does an average person ingest in one year?

~ Who is Peter Gene Hernandez?

Quote –

“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention.”  Thich Nhat Hanh

Make it a great weekend!

- Dee