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Monday, October 31, 2011

This week will be life changing...

In more ways than one. So I may need a revision with my surgery. I have a lot less restriction than I am supposed too. I have NEVER eaten enough food to throw up so I know there is room in there for whatever I am eating. I can still loose weight so for now I'm good, but my sleeve may be longer than average which allows for more room for food. At this point, I can do most things I want to do but my back is still REALLY bad and the more weight I can take off my back the better. It will be good to find out what we are dealing with in case my weight loss stops before I get to a place that is best for my back and hips. Second, I will be able to tell you about my life-changing news THIS WEEK! I am so excited. I owe all of these awesome experiences to God and my weight loss surgery. :) I prayed and prayed about doing it and ALWAYS received confirmation that it's what I needed in order to save my life and it was! Saving my life went FAR beyond physical weight. My heart was dying. My mind was over-run. I felt myself going further and further in to my addiction and I was losing everything about me I once knew. WLS has helped pull me out of that black hole but I have so much work to do on my own. I still have the ability to eat whatever I want and some days it's hard to say no. Not because of cravings, but because of emotions. I am so tied emotionally to food. A holiday is not a holiday without certain foods. I feel like I HAVE to eat it in order to legitimize the day. I know that sounds crazy, but it's my reality. My addition is still here, but I have a tool to try and help me control him. The difference now is that I KNOW I will win.

3 comments:

Manda said...

Hate to hear your doing a revision but it sounds like your upbeat about this. Which is great. You have done great so far and I can't wait to see you go further. As for your other news (I think I already know) and I'm so excited and happy for you! I will check in with your blog laters.

Amanda said...

I can't wait to hear your news -- arrgh!! No, patience is not one of my virtues, LOL.

Laura Ward *aka Zaababy* said...

So excited to catch up on your blog and see your progress! You look wonderful, and your attitude is so positive. I am very happy for you!