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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Kinda awesome... :) & therapy session details

I had to go to the surgeons office today to confirm that I need gallbladder surgery and I do. It's scheduled for this Tuesday. (prayers welcome) Anyway, yesterday I had e-mailed is PA with the comparison pic from my last post and she was shocked. :) So.... I have been asked if my pics and story can be used in their education classes and seminars! This makes me feel AWESOME because the reason why I started this blog was to reach out to and maybe help other people who were addicted to food. I allowed myself to get blog bullied by a crazy person and I retreated within myself because that is what the fat girl does most of the time. Puts her head down and tries not to get noticed. I was so sad that my story and journey was lost in the drama. Now, I feel like I get a new chance to help others. I have a new way to reach out to people who are suffering as I did. I went to therapy today and realized my entire outlook has changed in 5 short months. The clouds in my head are all but gone as far as being the fat one who wants to hide in the corner. I have never had a problem expressing myself, but I never felt part of the world around me. I never belonged. I was always the outgoing fat girl who made people laugh or cry. I made fun of myself before anyone else could so I was a “cool” fat person. I was accepted but I knew I was an imposter. They really didn’t know the person inside who was hurting everyday that I was not “one of them.” I could not shop in the same stores, I had no idea what it was like to get asked to the prom by someone who liked you. I smiled for the camera then cried at home. Even in commanding large crowds, I was alone. I now want to break down doors and be present in the world. I hope to be a small part in helping others get to this place. I still have such a long road ahead and a ton more weight to lose so I'm flattered that they want to use my story since it's really only just beginning. I feel so validated that I made the right choice for me. Now, I need to get through this second surgery. Thanks for listening.


Laryssa said...

I'll be praying that the surgery goes smoothly and that your recovery is quick. Good luck.

And congratulations on being selected to share your story. It truly is one of survival.

Anonymous said...

I will pray that you come thru this surgery with flying colors. I really think that you will!. And I'm so glad to hear about the opportunity for your story to be spread to others. I know many will be inspired. More people will see your beautiful smile.

Anonymous said...

I think its great that you are able and willing to help other people with your story. Does that mean you are going to open your blog back up? I think the naysayers (that crazy guy!) who had crap to talk before should be choking on their judgements right about now..you have done fantastic!

Lori said...

My prayers are with you.

I am so excited about the opportunity you have to share your story. That is great. You did such a good job of describing yourself in this little post, that you'll be great spreading your story.

Sadly, your story is the story of so many others. It resonated with me to the point that it brought tears to my eyes. I was the same girl. I'm glad we were both able to break free.

Anonymous said...

I'm hoping everything goes perfect for your surgery, and I'm so glad to hear you're feeling emotionally transformed :)
Good luck !!

Kelly said...

I hope the surgery goes smoothly and that you don't miss a beat. I'll be thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

Don't let the naysayers get you down (or try not to!) - I haven't had WLS and I wouldn't recommend it randomly, but it IS the only viable option for some and is IS lifesaving! People really do think it's a "quick fix" and it isn't.
((( hugs )))
I hope that you can really be an encouragement to others who feel that they can't live anymore because of the issues that their obesity presents.