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Friday, September 28, 2012

Some weird things... (and some party pics!:)

TMI alert!  So I had my "period" for SIXTEEN days this month.  My PCOS is RAGING right now and it sucks.  2nd weird thing... Lately I've been feeling some restriction??!!  Haven't felt ANY since 5 months out of surgery and now I catch myself getting full VERY fast.  I'm not complaining about that, but the down side is I am hungry again in about 30 minutes to an hour.  Yes, I eat protein.  Third weird thing... my hair is falling out... FAST. Especially on top.  I had some hair loss about one month out of surgery which was way over a year ago but it was short lived.  Can't understand why I am getting it again. 
I have appointments next month with an endocrinologist, orthopedic surgeon and a hemotologist.  I might as well take advantage of this time trying to dig deeper than just weight loss when it comes to my health. 

Here are some pics from my oldest daugher's 13th birthday... :)

 Below: the kids all waiting for my daughter in the arcade... 
  Below: the cake and treat bag table... the cake was amazing!  My friend did such a great job and it was soooo cute for a 13 year old.  Real "Cake Boss" type stuff. :)
 Below: the little specs on the tables are fake jewels in her birthday colors. 
There are also candles on the table.
 Below: the bowling lanes...
Total: 37 kids! :)

Friday, September 21, 2012

So busy, no time to think

I teach preschool, watch a daycare child, I have 4 out of 5 kids in activities. (dance, football, scouts, air force academy, church groups, flute lessons, yearbook, swim school...)  I am also a room mom, football team manager, church music conductor, mom and wife.  Every day, all day I am on the move.  Last night I was up late making the treat bags for my daughter's 13th birthday.  We are having a "team dream" party for her at the bowling alley with 30 friends.  Pizza, drinks, bowling, laser tag and arcade games.  Not to mention a custom cake, table decorations, new outfit, treat bags, fake rhinestones to cover the table, a professional photographer and set up.  Here's the thing... I am tired.  REALLY tired.  I won't lie.  But yesterday I had a moment where I broke down and cried and not from being overwhelmed.  It was because I was soooo grateful to be able to do these things.  I wasn't directing others from a chair.  I am doing all these things on my own.  100% me.  When I am teaching preschool, I have so much fun with the kids.  They are so happy to be there and have no idea what things used to be like for me.  I was walking to different stores with my older daughter last night to find just the right bday outfit :) when I realized that was a moment less than 2 years ago I could not have had.  I can't say I still don't think about my weight every day.  I need the revision but it will have to wait until the loan is paid off from the house flood.  In the mean time, I am LIVING.  I still wonder why food addiction has such a grip on me.  I know I would eat much more if I was able and whether or not my surgery worked to it's full extent or not, at least it preforms the duties it needs to in order to save me from me.  I am not logging my calories these days but I need too... when I have time. :)
Pic of the day... the treat bags... :)

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Moving on...

Ok, I think I have made a decision to stop feeling sorry for myself... I am going to try 1200 calories per day for 30 days and see if I can make it. If for no other reason, to prove to myself that I can have control. I know I have to be under 800 calories for weight loss, but not gaining is good at this point too. There's no point in going back to where I was because of this set back. I have too much going for me to go back to that place. I need prayers. :)